My paw paw

First, I'd like to thank you all for keeping my family and me in your thoughts and prayers.
The surgery was a little more than three hours and was incredibly intense. They removed his colon and did an ileostomy, and also removed his spleen and gall bladder. His bowel was perforated and his entire belly was pretty much full of blood, and many other "secretions" (I'll keep it at that for those of you with weak stomachs). They've inserted a feeding tube directly into his small intestine and will begin using that in a couple of days to provide nutrition. They are using a "wound vac" to minimize the risk of infection. During the procedure, they went through 4 units of whole blood, 20 units of platelets and 4 units of fresh frozen plasma. This is in addition to the 7 units of whole blood and 4 units of platelets they used yesterday. He's till not out of the woods, as the risk of infection is really high. At this point, the Dr's believe this was caused by vascular disease and/or atrial fibrillation.
Thanks again.

I'm not really in a writing place

but it's been a while.

So, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a great day!

Two years.

I feel like poo

and really don't feel like posting, but there are a couple of things of importance that I would like to address.
First, Stand Up To Cancer is on this evening, on all three major networks at 7:00 pm CT. I urge you to watch it, and to donate if you can.
Second, BTHO Melanoma is on Sunday the 14th from 10:30-3:30. I BEG you to attend. There are a lot of great items in the silent auction, there will be GREAT BBQ, lots of stuff for the kids to do, and skin cancer screenings (in a nice, private, air conditioned tent. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE try to join us. It would mean a lot to me!

The view.

This is what I saw when I heard, "He's dead."

I was driving home from a weekend in Dallas, a great weekend actually. That greatness came to an abrupt, screeching halt.

I went up to the Fort Worth area this past weekend, but I went up 6 to 35 to get there, so Sunday was the first time I'd been in that spot in almost two years.

It was weird. I was anxious about it the whole day, and distracted. Which isn't a good thing while driving 75 down the interstate. I couldn't remember exactly where I was, but I knew it was after Centerville (that's my DQ stop) because I had stopped there to let Chelsea go potty and to get a frosty treat. That frosty treat was later thrown away. I remembered that I pulled over at a weigh station right after Krystal said those words. So, once I went through Centerville and saw the "All trucks next right if lights flashing" I knew that was it.

I wasn't really prepared for what I felt, and how it hit me. After talking to someone who has become a TERRIFIC friend, I think she nailed it. This time, I knew the truth-there was no doubt that he was dead. If you remember, my phone died shortly after I talked to Krystal so it didn't really SINK in. I didn't REALLY believe it until I got home, plugged my phone in and the voice mails and text messages started piling up from everyone trying to get a hold of me. And then I saw the box of "us" sitting on the table. I'd gotten it down out of the closet to get out the bottle of perfume he'd given me for Valentine's day.

It's so strange the details I remember. I have always been very detail oriented, and remember the strangest, seemingly minute details, but it's even worse when it comes to him.

Right now, I just don't care.

About anything, really.

*Edited*
Because what's the point?

And one time, we danced.

I don't know why this memory has been in my head so prominently the last few days...

I met them at a little restaurant for dinner on my way into town one Friday evening. We had a great meal, and his mom and grandmother headed back to the house. We were headed back to the house too, but made a stop at Coushatta. (I HATE gambling and think it's the biggest waste of money, but I really wanted a drink!) We walked around a bit, him showing me the stuff he worked on while working on the construction projects they did there. Then we made our way to the Miko Room where there is pretty much always live music. They had a nice sized dance floor so we took to it and while the dance floor was pretty crowded, it was like we were the only two people out there.

Google Reader

Mine's all jacked up. Anyone else's messed up?
And it won't let me manage my subscriptions.

Ick.

I didn't think that picture of Cowboy and me would be so HUGE when you click on it. THANK YOU Lupron Depot and Ovral 28 for the acne and the brown spots all over my face!

Ugh.

Chin up, Buttercup, or why one is the loneliest number.

I'm feeling really lonely lately. Usually, I love my alone time, but over the last few weeks I've come to dread it. Last week I invited my friend, we'll call him Cowboy, over for dinner. I've known him for a few years but I hadn't seen him in who knows how long. It's weird, though. No matter how much time passes, it's never uncomfortable with him. He's probably one of the nicest guys I know. The only problem is that he works too hard, and that IS a problem! He's a firefighter in his "real" job, but he works horses and cattle on the side. But "on the side" for him, means pretty much every minute he's not at the fire station.

Dr. Boy is still texting. I haven't seen him in a few weeks, but that's not for lack of him trying.

I've been thinking about how different these two guys are. Take a look:












Strange.