Saturday, September 08, 2007

Agnostic

That's a big word, huh?

agnostic

2 entries found for agnostic.
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Main Entry: 1ag·nos·tic
Pronunciation: ag-'näs-tik, &g-
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek agnOstos unknown, unknowable, from a- + gnOstos known, from gignOskein to know -- more at KNOW
1 : a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god
2 : a person unwilling to commit to an opinion about something agnostics>
- ag·nos·ti·cism /-t&-"si-z&m/ noun

Trust me, I NEVER thought I would say such a thing about myself, but I find myself singing along to the Contemporary Christian music in my MP3 player and I feel like a total hypocrite. I don't know that I believe in God anymore. I want to, more than you could ever know. I know there are people out there who have suffered more than I have and who still believe. More than ever before. I wish I were one of them. Really, I do.
I don't like the resentment or dislike or distrust I have in people now. I want to be the Nicole I was years ago. When life was planned. Predictable. Easy.
I come across this picture every now and then from high school, and I would give ANYTHING to go back to being THAT girl. I'll share it one of these days, because I am sure most of you don't believe me. I had a glowing personality, a great body(you think it's trivial. trust me, it isn't), and a pretty good outlook on life.
Where did she go? And how do I get her back?