I'm glad my pawpaw isn't here to witness what is going on with his family. Although, if he was still here, you can bet your ass none of this would be happening.
I'm not on anyone's side, because the way I see it, everyone has had a part in the wrongdoing. I'm so disgusted and disappointed that I can't even find the words.
I love my grandparents more than just about anyone else in this world. I am so thankful to them for giving me the best summers a young girl could have ever had. THOSE are the memories I treasure and think back on. Trips to Toledo Bend in the back of pawpaw's truck with the camper on it with my kissin' cousin and a "boom box" listening to music and catching up on life, playing dominoes, Uno or Skip Bo and Bouree when we got older. I learned how to appreciate spending time with my family from them, and I'm sad to think that's over now because no one is getting along. It seems everyone's motives are self serving and that makes me sad.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Yeah, I'm crafty.
Averie and I are Making Strides Against Breast Cancer this weekend in Sulphur, LA and my cousin named our team "Ta-Ta's and Tu-Tu's". This is Averie's tu-tu. Cute, yes?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sometimes, you can love too much.
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Open mouth, insert foot.
Not mine.
I really wish people would THINK about what they say before they say it.
I've been tossing around the idea of getting another dog. I've looked at pictures of dogs that are up for adoption here and there, but I keep talking myself out of it. What I don't get are the people who say, "you don't need another dog", or things along those lines. Who the hell are you to tell me what I need? If I am not depending on you, you have NO say, and should do nothing but support me in something I might want.
A couple of weeks ago I was planning a last minute road trip to the HC. Someone said, "Oh, it must be nice to just be able to pick up and go like that, without a worry in the world." Anyone that knows me, KNOWS how desperately I want children/a child, and that I would trade that freedom in HEARTBEAT.
Please, people, think about what you say before you say it.
I really wish people would THINK about what they say before they say it.
I've been tossing around the idea of getting another dog. I've looked at pictures of dogs that are up for adoption here and there, but I keep talking myself out of it. What I don't get are the people who say, "you don't need another dog", or things along those lines. Who the hell are you to tell me what I need? If I am not depending on you, you have NO say, and should do nothing but support me in something I might want.
A couple of weeks ago I was planning a last minute road trip to the HC. Someone said, "Oh, it must be nice to just be able to pick up and go like that, without a worry in the world." Anyone that knows me, KNOWS how desperately I want children/a child, and that I would trade that freedom in HEARTBEAT.
Please, people, think about what you say before you say it.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Tomatoes Florentine
I KIND OF followed this recipe.
Tomatoes Florentine
submitted by reader Martha Wolf of Brighton, MI
Ingredients
1 (10-ounce) package frozen chopped spinach
2 large tomatoes, cut into ¾-inch-thick slices
½ cup dry Italian-seasoned bread crumbs
½ cup chopped green onions (white and green parts)
3 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted
¼ cup grated Parmesan
¼ teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon dried thyme leaves
2 to 3 dashes hot pepper sauce
Instructions
1. Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a 13 x 9-inch glass baking dish.
2. Cook spinach according to package directions. Drain well in a colander, pressing with paper towels to remove most of the liquid.
3. Arrange tomato slices in a single layer in prepared pan. Combine bread crumbs, green onions, eggs, butter, Parmesan, garlic, salt, thyme and hot sauce in a medium bowl. Add spinach; mix well.
4. Spoon equal amounts of the spinach mixture on top of each tomato slice. Bake, uncovered, 15 minutes. Serves 8. (mine made nine slices)
Tips from the Test Kitchen
Tips From Our Test Kitchen: You may use smaller tomatoes, if desired. Cut into ¾-inch thick slices and cover the bottom of the baking pan. Top with the spinach mixture and use the back of a spoon to spread evenly over all. Bake as directed.
Nutritional Information
Nutritional facts per serving: 130 calories, 9g fat, 5g protein, 8g carbohydrates, 1g fiber, 480mg sodium.
My notes-
1. I didn't have any bread crumbs, so I made my own. I used four slices of light whole wheat bread, brushed with olive oil, salt and Italian seasoning and baked until the bread was toasted. Threw the bread in the blender-voila, Italian seasoned bread crumbs.
2. I used three large-ish Roma tomatoes.
3. I didn't use green onions or thyme because I didn't have any-I don't think they would really add to this very much.
4. This calls for three eggs. I will use two egg whites next time. If the "stuffing" seems dry, I'll add some chicken broth.
5. I used a bag of fresh spinach because that's what I had. I heated up about two tablespoons of olive oil, lightly browned some fresh mined garlic and threw the spinach in to wilt.
6. I used a little more parmesan cheese than the recipe called for, and sprinkled some on the top after I took them out of the oven after 15 minutes, then I stuck them back in the oven for another 10 minutes.
If you take my changes into consideration, this has a lot more fiber, and less calories.
Tomatoes Florentine
submitted by reader Martha Wolf of Brighton, MI
Ingredients
1 (10-ounce) package frozen chopped spinach
2 large tomatoes, cut into ¾-inch-thick slices
½ cup dry Italian-seasoned bread crumbs
½ cup chopped green onions (white and green parts)
3 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted
¼ cup grated Parmesan
¼ teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon dried thyme leaves
2 to 3 dashes hot pepper sauce
Instructions
1. Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a 13 x 9-inch glass baking dish.
2. Cook spinach according to package directions. Drain well in a colander, pressing with paper towels to remove most of the liquid.
3. Arrange tomato slices in a single layer in prepared pan. Combine bread crumbs, green onions, eggs, butter, Parmesan, garlic, salt, thyme and hot sauce in a medium bowl. Add spinach; mix well.
4. Spoon equal amounts of the spinach mixture on top of each tomato slice. Bake, uncovered, 15 minutes. Serves 8. (mine made nine slices)
Tips from the Test Kitchen
Tips From Our Test Kitchen: You may use smaller tomatoes, if desired. Cut into ¾-inch thick slices and cover the bottom of the baking pan. Top with the spinach mixture and use the back of a spoon to spread evenly over all. Bake as directed.
Nutritional Information
Nutritional facts per serving: 130 calories, 9g fat, 5g protein, 8g carbohydrates, 1g fiber, 480mg sodium.
My notes-
1. I didn't have any bread crumbs, so I made my own. I used four slices of light whole wheat bread, brushed with olive oil, salt and Italian seasoning and baked until the bread was toasted. Threw the bread in the blender-voila, Italian seasoned bread crumbs.
2. I used three large-ish Roma tomatoes.
3. I didn't use green onions or thyme because I didn't have any-I don't think they would really add to this very much.
4. This calls for three eggs. I will use two egg whites next time. If the "stuffing" seems dry, I'll add some chicken broth.
5. I used a bag of fresh spinach because that's what I had. I heated up about two tablespoons of olive oil, lightly browned some fresh mined garlic and threw the spinach in to wilt.
6. I used a little more parmesan cheese than the recipe called for, and sprinkled some on the top after I took them out of the oven after 15 minutes, then I stuck them back in the oven for another 10 minutes.
If you take my changes into consideration, this has a lot more fiber, and less calories.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Dudes!
My boobie squishing appointment this morning was not bad AT ALL! I don't think I'd want to have it done every day or anything, but it was seriously no big deal. The place I went to was super nice, and staff couldn't have been better. My tech was awesome and made me feel totally comfortable the entire time, which is HUGE because I am super modest.
So, if you need to get your boobies squished but are scared, don't be!
So, if you need to get your boobies squished but are scared, don't be!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I don't even know where to start.
The last few weeks have been a test. Right now, I feel like I am failing.
Last Friday my niece Averie passed out twice and had two seizures. Seemingly out of no where. My sister rushed her to the doctor who ordered lab work, an MRI and an EEG. She had the MRI Friday afternoon and they were supposed to call with the results Friday evening. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the results so we had to wait out the three day weekend for the results. I got to Lake Charles around 5:00 or so. I had planned on going in for Averie’s first and last gymnastics meet, but this put a rush in my plans. Her doctor said he didn’t see why she shouldn’t participate since there’s no telling when or if she’ll ever pass out again, or have another seizure. She did her gymnastics thing Saturday afternoon and the girls and I headed back to TX when we got done with that.
They swam their hearts out Saturday and Sunday-Cameron left Sunday evening and Averie decided she wanted to stay another night so she got to swim some more Monday. My sister called the doctor’s office several times to get the results of the MRI but couldn’t get anyone to call her back. Frustrating much? Averie got home from school and went straight to the couch to take a nap. She’d had a low grade fever Monday night, so Cameron, being the fantastic big sister she is, took Averie’s temperature under her arm and it was 102*. When the BIL got home, he took it again and it was 103* so he took her to the doctor’s office. Candi met them there and they finally got the results of the MRI and determined that Averie had some kind of upper respiratory infection.
The results from the MRI are that Averie has Chiari Type I Malformation. http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/detail_chiari.htm
She had the EEG yesterday morning but won’t know the results, or have a treatment plan for the CMI until June 8th, when she goes in to see the neurologist.
My mom wasn't feeling well the week before Mother's Day so she went to see our internist, who also happens to be a close family friend(We call him by his first name, Roger, not Dr. Willette). He orders chest x-rays on her pretty much every time she goes to see him because he knows she is a heavy smoker. I was in Lake Charles that Friday and my sister and I got the following email-“When I went to see Roger this week, because I was feeling so bad, he thought I should have an X-ray and gave me three different prescriptions. He got the results of my chest X-ray. It showed my lungs being overinflated, but he said that could be caused by all the congestion I have. However he found was he called a Nodule, whatever that is. He said it could just be scar tissue, but it could also be a small tumor, so I have to get a Cat Scan next week. He is going to schedule it for me. Keep your fingers crossed. I just did not want either of you to hear this from someone else. Love, Mom”
As you can imagine, we were on pins and needles that weekend, and the following week. She had the Cat Scan which did not show any tumors, but did show significant CAD (coronary artery disease). Roger referred her to a cardiologist, who she saw this past Tuesday. Apparently, he was not at all happy with what he saw on the Cat Scan and told her he wanted to perform an angiogram Wednesday morning. She tried to put him off for a week but he wouldn’t budge. When she said she couldn’t do it this week because it’s the last week of the month (she’s an escrow officer-everyone tries to close before the end of the month so it’s a crazy hectic time), he stared her down and simply said, “This is your life”.
She had the procedure done yesterday and ended up having to have a stint put in (it was late when I talked to her nurse and I can’t for the life of me remember which vessel). She was kept in the Assessment Area until close to 9:00 last night and they finally transferred her to CVICU (which is in the new Heart Tower and CLR and it kicks ass!). They’re apparently strict on visiting hours which ended at 9:00, but her nurse didn’t kick me out until close to 10:00 when they determined they could remove the sheath. It typically would have been removed much earlier, but her smoker’s cough kept causing a hematoma to form at the site, and her counts were too high which meant she could have bled to death from her femoral artery in minutes.
Visiting hours this morning were from 8:30-9:30 am. I walked out of the house at 8:00 to a flat freaking tire. I was *THIS* close to walking back inside, putting on pj’s and climbing into bed with the covers and a pillow over my head. But I didn’t. I got the spare tire, the jack and the lug wrench out and tried half heartedly to loosen a lug nut. Half hearted because I have road side assistance-why not use it. Turns out it would take them at least 35 minutes to get to my house and I knew I could have the tire changed and be almost to the hospital in that time. My dad didn’t raise a sissy (not the word I used when I called and thanked him ;-) ) and I am thankful for all the time I’ve spent with him in a garage. Got the tire changed and was on my way to the hospital within 15 minutes.
Now, I just have to hope the tire can be plugged and won’t have to be replaced.
I also had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday with THE doctor. He’s changing my OC because I’m getting too old to continue taking the high dose OC I’ve been on for the last 1.5-2 years. I’m scared about switching because the last time I did I wound up having to have a lap done two months later because the pain was so intense. I also have to go in for a mammogram. He says he’s not worried about finding anything, but that he’d like to have a baseline done early since I have a family history of breast cancer. I’m really scared about having my boobs squished!
So, I ask that you please pray for Averie and my mom. I hope that THIS will be the smack upside the head for mom that it is time for some SERIOUS lifestyle changes. She drinks too much, smokes too much (smoking ANY is too much), and doesn’t eat enough. I want her to be around when/IF I get married, and when I have a child/children, but it seems like she thinks she’s invincible.
Last Friday my niece Averie passed out twice and had two seizures. Seemingly out of no where. My sister rushed her to the doctor who ordered lab work, an MRI and an EEG. She had the MRI Friday afternoon and they were supposed to call with the results Friday evening. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the results so we had to wait out the three day weekend for the results. I got to Lake Charles around 5:00 or so. I had planned on going in for Averie’s first and last gymnastics meet, but this put a rush in my plans. Her doctor said he didn’t see why she shouldn’t participate since there’s no telling when or if she’ll ever pass out again, or have another seizure. She did her gymnastics thing Saturday afternoon and the girls and I headed back to TX when we got done with that.
They swam their hearts out Saturday and Sunday-Cameron left Sunday evening and Averie decided she wanted to stay another night so she got to swim some more Monday. My sister called the doctor’s office several times to get the results of the MRI but couldn’t get anyone to call her back. Frustrating much? Averie got home from school and went straight to the couch to take a nap. She’d had a low grade fever Monday night, so Cameron, being the fantastic big sister she is, took Averie’s temperature under her arm and it was 102*. When the BIL got home, he took it again and it was 103* so he took her to the doctor’s office. Candi met them there and they finally got the results of the MRI and determined that Averie had some kind of upper respiratory infection.
The results from the MRI are that Averie has Chiari Type I Malformation. http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/detail_chiari.htm
She had the EEG yesterday morning but won’t know the results, or have a treatment plan for the CMI until June 8th, when she goes in to see the neurologist.
My mom wasn't feeling well the week before Mother's Day so she went to see our internist, who also happens to be a close family friend(We call him by his first name, Roger, not Dr. Willette). He orders chest x-rays on her pretty much every time she goes to see him because he knows she is a heavy smoker. I was in Lake Charles that Friday and my sister and I got the following email-“When I went to see Roger this week, because I was feeling so bad, he thought I should have an X-ray and gave me three different prescriptions. He got the results of my chest X-ray. It showed my lungs being overinflated, but he said that could be caused by all the congestion I have. However he found was he called a Nodule, whatever that is. He said it could just be scar tissue, but it could also be a small tumor, so I have to get a Cat Scan next week. He is going to schedule it for me. Keep your fingers crossed. I just did not want either of you to hear this from someone else. Love, Mom”
As you can imagine, we were on pins and needles that weekend, and the following week. She had the Cat Scan which did not show any tumors, but did show significant CAD (coronary artery disease). Roger referred her to a cardiologist, who she saw this past Tuesday. Apparently, he was not at all happy with what he saw on the Cat Scan and told her he wanted to perform an angiogram Wednesday morning. She tried to put him off for a week but he wouldn’t budge. When she said she couldn’t do it this week because it’s the last week of the month (she’s an escrow officer-everyone tries to close before the end of the month so it’s a crazy hectic time), he stared her down and simply said, “This is your life”.
She had the procedure done yesterday and ended up having to have a stint put in (it was late when I talked to her nurse and I can’t for the life of me remember which vessel). She was kept in the Assessment Area until close to 9:00 last night and they finally transferred her to CVICU (which is in the new Heart Tower and CLR and it kicks ass!). They’re apparently strict on visiting hours which ended at 9:00, but her nurse didn’t kick me out until close to 10:00 when they determined they could remove the sheath. It typically would have been removed much earlier, but her smoker’s cough kept causing a hematoma to form at the site, and her counts were too high which meant she could have bled to death from her femoral artery in minutes.
Visiting hours this morning were from 8:30-9:30 am. I walked out of the house at 8:00 to a flat freaking tire. I was *THIS* close to walking back inside, putting on pj’s and climbing into bed with the covers and a pillow over my head. But I didn’t. I got the spare tire, the jack and the lug wrench out and tried half heartedly to loosen a lug nut. Half hearted because I have road side assistance-why not use it. Turns out it would take them at least 35 minutes to get to my house and I knew I could have the tire changed and be almost to the hospital in that time. My dad didn’t raise a sissy (not the word I used when I called and thanked him ;-) ) and I am thankful for all the time I’ve spent with him in a garage. Got the tire changed and was on my way to the hospital within 15 minutes.
Now, I just have to hope the tire can be plugged and won’t have to be replaced.
I also had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday with THE doctor. He’s changing my OC because I’m getting too old to continue taking the high dose OC I’ve been on for the last 1.5-2 years. I’m scared about switching because the last time I did I wound up having to have a lap done two months later because the pain was so intense. I also have to go in for a mammogram. He says he’s not worried about finding anything, but that he’d like to have a baseline done early since I have a family history of breast cancer. I’m really scared about having my boobs squished!
So, I ask that you please pray for Averie and my mom. I hope that THIS will be the smack upside the head for mom that it is time for some SERIOUS lifestyle changes. She drinks too much, smokes too much (smoking ANY is too much), and doesn’t eat enough. I want her to be around when/IF I get married, and when I have a child/children, but it seems like she thinks she’s invincible.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
YUM.
I've started making smoothies at home for breakfast and thought I'd share the concoction I've come up with that I like the best! In my Inbox this morning, I had an email from LIVESTRONG and one of the articles was on smoothies.
Here's the link for the article: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14357-5-things-you-need-to-know-about-fruit-smoothies/?utm_source=maynewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=090512
While it says to use milk as the liquid base, I don't. I use Tropicana Trop50 pulp free calcium+vitamin D. http://www.tropicana.com/#products/Trop50/287
So, here's my recipe!
1/2 cup lite strawberry yogurt
1/2-3/4 cup frozen mixed fruit- (peaches, strawberries, pineapple and grapes)
1/4 cup frozen blackberries, blueberries and raspberries
8 oz orange juice (or skim milk if you prefer)
a heaping handful of spinach (don't say BLECH until you try it. With the fruit, yogurt and juice, you don't even know it's in there!)
Pulse for a few minutes until everything is all chopped up, mixed up and frosty. ENJOY!
Here's the link for the article: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14357-5-things-you-need-to-know-about-fruit-smoothies/?utm_source=maynewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=090512
While it says to use milk as the liquid base, I don't. I use Tropicana Trop50 pulp free calcium+vitamin D. http://www.tropicana.com/#products/Trop50/287
So, here's my recipe!
1/2 cup lite strawberry yogurt
1/2-3/4 cup frozen mixed fruit- (peaches, strawberries, pineapple and grapes)
1/4 cup frozen blackberries, blueberries and raspberries
8 oz orange juice (or skim milk if you prefer)
a heaping handful of spinach (don't say BLECH until you try it. With the fruit, yogurt and juice, you don't even know it's in there!)
Pulse for a few minutes until everything is all chopped up, mixed up and frosty. ENJOY!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
I meant to post this earlier!
Pretty in Plaid was released TODAY! Go get it, right now! Please? You won't regret it! While you're there, pick up Jen's first three books-http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/books.html
Seriously. Do it. You will laugh so hard your dog/husband/boyfriend/parents/siblings will think you've lost your ever lovin' mind!
I got mine this afternoon at lunch, so I am going to treat myself to a pedicure and some book time! You should do the same! So, what are you waiting for? GO GET THESE BOOKS!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Cowboy
I've always known he's smart and articulate, but I honestly had no idea JUST how smart and articulate he is.
He posted this on Facebook as a note last night, and it gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.
"4/16/09
Today we honor the fallen.
We will wear our dress blues, display our medals, and march in line. The flags will fly at half staff, the drum will beat slowly, and the pipes will play lowly. Two of our own are gone.
And later the booper will go off.....and we the men and women of the Houston Fire Department will respond. We will go to 1415 for a shooting. Make 11911 MLK just because. Marvin's calling again, or there is smoke in an airplane, or an automatic alarm. Around midnight, a box will come in. Heavy fire, heavy smoke, people trapped. Multiple calls. We will be there too.
No matter what happens tomorrow, or the next day or the next, we will be there. Despite what the media says. Despite the fact we may end up in court. We train daily, we prepare, we respond. I don't know why we do what we do. It sure ain't for five days off.
We just do.
You can probably name the last two winners of American Idol, or who is winning Dancing With the Stars....but can you name a Fire Fighter that works in your neighborhood?
24/7...365...this type of stuff happens all the time.
GOD BLESS THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE HOUSTON FIRE DEPARTMENT.
We will wear our dress blues, display our medals, and march in line. The flags will fly at half staff, the drum will beat slowly, and the pipes will play lowly. Two of our own are gone.
And later the booper will go off.....and we the men and women of the Houston Fire Department will respond. We will go to 1415 for a shooting. Make 11911 MLK just because. Marvin's calling again, or there is smoke in an airplane, or an automatic alarm. Around midnight, a box will come in. Heavy fire, heavy smoke, people trapped. Multiple calls. We will be there too.
No matter what happens tomorrow, or the next day or the next, we will be there. Despite what the media says. Despite the fact we may end up in court. We train daily, we prepare, we respond. I don't know why we do what we do. It sure ain't for five days off.
We just do.
You can probably name the last two winners of American Idol, or who is winning Dancing With the Stars....but can you name a Fire Fighter that works in your neighborhood?
24/7...365...this type of stuff happens all the time.
GOD BLESS THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE HOUSTON FIRE DEPARTMENT.
When the roof collapsed on E-004, L-004, and E-050."
I hope he doesn't mind me posting it here...
I hope he doesn't mind me posting it here...
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I've been thinking...
Scary, I know.
A lot of my friends met their spouse/SO after being "set up" by other friends. I've never been "set up" by anyone. I kind of wonder what that means.
What do my friends think of me if they've never been willing to set me up with one of their other friends, or their spouse/SO's friends.
Huh.
A lot of my friends met their spouse/SO after being "set up" by other friends. I've never been "set up" by anyone. I kind of wonder what that means.
What do my friends think of me if they've never been willing to set me up with one of their other friends, or their spouse/SO's friends.
Huh.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Happy Birthday Nick.
I can't believe you would have been 34 today.
Actually, I guess I can't believe you've been gone two years, five months and one day.
Actually, I guess I can't believe you've been gone two years, five months and one day.
Monday, March 02, 2009
These Dreams
They throw me off for days after I have one. The one I had Saturday morning was so vivid I woke up sobbing and felt sad all day. I don't remember all of it, or all of the details, but the parts I remember still make me sad when I think about them. We were cuddled up in his bed, although it wasn't his bed, and it wasn't his house, but his mom was there so who knows. We were just talking and laughing, goofing off like we'd do when we were able to spend the weekends together, and I remember his mom saying something from the living room/kitchen(?). She said something along the lines of "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got". Those weren't her exact words, but that's what she meant. I'll admit that I should have walked away from him a long time before I did. But I loved him *so* much. So much that, more often than not, it hurt. He spent two years and eight months pushing me away, and up until August 1, 2006, I pushed back. Harder. And then I didn't have any push left.
Back to the dream. I don't really remember what happened after she said that. I just know that I got really sad and started crying and was curled up at the head of the bed on the pillows.
He kept asking me what was wrong and I finally screamed, "I"m CRAZY, OKAY? You're not here and I'm talking and laughing with you. And you're NOT HERE."
He kept asking me what I meant by he wasn't there and I finally told him, "You killed yourself two and half years ago, you selfish son of a bitch!"
That's when I woke up in wracking sobs.
I was on my way to my best friend's son's little league opening season parade and festivities and this song came on my MP3 player, which was on DJ, Random Play All. Strange, huh?
This song came on next.
Back to the dream. I don't really remember what happened after she said that. I just know that I got really sad and started crying and was curled up at the head of the bed on the pillows.
He kept asking me what was wrong and I finally screamed, "I"m CRAZY, OKAY? You're not here and I'm talking and laughing with you. And you're NOT HERE."
He kept asking me what I meant by he wasn't there and I finally told him, "You killed yourself two and half years ago, you selfish son of a bitch!"
That's when I woke up in wracking sobs.
I was on my way to my best friend's son's little league opening season parade and festivities and this song came on my MP3 player, which was on DJ, Random Play All. Strange, huh?
This song came on next.
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Rainbow Bridge
Chelsea 12/1995-1/16/2009
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
Friday, January 09, 2009
Left out. Left behind...
That's how I'm feeling these days. I was looking through pictures on Facebook and saw a picture of two little girls laughing and having a great time over Christmas. You're probably thinking that's not very interesting, or different. Well, the two little girls are the children of two BFF's from high school and I got to thinking that when and if I ever do get to have children, all of my friend's children will have already outgrown mine.
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