Wednesday, April 30, 2008

One down, one to go.

Had my gastro appointment yesterday. She is fantastic. If any of you are in the Clear Lake area and are looking for a gastroenterologist, let me know and email you her name and numbers. Come to think of it, I think she has an office in Houston proper, too.
Anyways, she says it does sound like IBS, but with my family history, we're doing a colonoscopy on May 23rd just to make sure.

Now I just have to get through tomorrow's appointment. I won't know the results from that one for a few days, and waiting for stuff like that is the hardest part.

Thanks for the prayers.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

It happened. Again.

Kris passed Sunday evening in the nursing facility he'd been in for the last few months in Tulsa. I can't imagine what his parents are going through. And I just don't understand how a 32 year old man in the prime of his life could be taken like that.

I hate you, cancer. I hate your guts.

Friday, April 25, 2008

I'm not gonna lie

I'm nervous as hell.

I have my gastro appointment next week. Well, I also got news a couple of weeks ago that my pap came back "abnormal". I did a round of the most awful antibiotic treatment imaginable and return for another pap next Thursday. I went through this in 1998 and was diagnosed with cervical dysplasia and had LEEP. All of my paps since then have been fine, so you can imagine my surprise when I got that call from the nurse. I've been trying really hard not to freak out, to just take it as it comes. But it's hard. Really hard. Especially with all of the pain and "weirdness" I've been feeling lately.

So, if you'd send a couple up for me, I'd really appreciate it. I'm sure it's all nothing, but it's hard to not get too deep in my head sometimes-I'm alone an awful lot, ya know!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Be careful, your head might explode.

I've updated with all of the blogs that were on MySpace.

Some news:
I bought a house. I moved in last Thursday, well, all of the big stuff. I have a couple of loads left at the apartment, but I've not been feeling well so I haven't gone to get any of it this week as I'd planned. I don't have to be out until the end of the month, so there's really no hurry, but I just want to get it done.
I'm healing, and it feels good. I haven't forgotten him, I never will, but it's not so raw. Not so painful. Buying the house was a big step in moving forward, and moving forward has been a huge problem for the last year and a half.
I had another laparoscopy in January for my endo. It was everywhere, again. I went to see Dr. K (my gyn) last week and based on the location of my pain now, he thinks I have IBS. I have an appointment with a gastoenterologist on the 29th. With my family's history of colon cancer and cancerous/pre-cancerous polyps, we (my mom and I) decided to just not take any chances.

Well, that's about it for now. Thanks for checking in.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I can't believe it's been 15 years.

15 years ago today I was a survivor of suicide for the first time. It was my junior year of high school and my friend Jay shot himself in the school parking lot. I don’t actually remember if he died on March 31st, or April 1st, but since I found out April 1st, that’s the day I remember him.
I was at my locker and was running late for first period which was Photography. I ran into my friend Shannon in the hall as I was running to class and she stopped me and told me that Jay was dead. Well, I’ve never been big on April Fool’s jokes, and this was certainly the LEAST funny joke ever. I made sure she knew I didn’t think she was funny and that’s when she looked up from her locker and I realized she wasn’t joking. Well, kind of realized it. Reality didn’t set in until I walked into the Photog classroom and didn’t see him in the chair in front of mine. I lost it and went straight into the lab while Mr. Caldarera broke the news to the class, and then I think there was an announcement made over the PA system. I was in the lab with my friend Stephanie and Mr. C’s assistant Mrs. Hamilton, who was my angel that morning.
You see, Jay and I were lab partners, meaning we pretty much had to share EVERYTHING. He wasn’t as serious about the class as I was and I managed to get pissed at him just about every day. We bickered like we were brother and sister.
I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. He would have accomplished great things if he hadn’t given up.
I miss you, Jay, and think of you often. I hope you’re up there kicking Nick’s ass for what he’s done, and Izzy’s ass, too. Oh, and can you somehow talk some sense into our friend from up there?