15 years ago today I was a survivor of suicide for the first time. It was my junior year of high school and my friend Jay shot himself in the school parking lot. I don’t actually remember if he died on March 31st, or April 1st, but since I found out April 1st, that’s the day I remember him.
I was at my locker and was running late for first period which was Photography. I ran into my friend Shannon in the hall as I was running to class and she stopped me and told me that Jay was dead. Well, I’ve never been big on April Fool’s jokes, and this was certainly the LEAST funny joke ever. I made sure she knew I didn’t think she was funny and that’s when she looked up from her locker and I realized she wasn’t joking. Well, kind of realized it. Reality didn’t set in until I walked into the Photog classroom and didn’t see him in the chair in front of mine. I lost it and went straight into the lab while Mr. Caldarera broke the news to the class, and then I think there was an announcement made over the PA system. I was in the lab with my friend Stephanie and Mr. C’s assistant Mrs. Hamilton, who was my angel that morning.
You see, Jay and I were lab partners, meaning we pretty much had to share EVERYTHING. He wasn’t as serious about the class as I was and I managed to get pissed at him just about every day. We bickered like we were brother and sister.
I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. He would have accomplished great things if he hadn’t given up.
I miss you, Jay, and think of you often. I hope you’re up there kicking Nick’s ass for what he’s done, and Izzy’s ass, too. Oh, and can you somehow talk some sense into our friend from up there?