Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The view.

This is what I saw when I heard, "He's dead."

I was driving home from a weekend in Dallas, a great weekend actually. That greatness came to an abrupt, screeching halt.

I went up to the Fort Worth area this past weekend, but I went up 6 to 35 to get there, so Sunday was the first time I'd been in that spot in almost two years.

It was weird. I was anxious about it the whole day, and distracted. Which isn't a good thing while driving 75 down the interstate. I couldn't remember exactly where I was, but I knew it was after Centerville (that's my DQ stop) because I had stopped there to let Chelsea go potty and to get a frosty treat. That frosty treat was later thrown away. I remembered that I pulled over at a weigh station right after Krystal said those words. So, once I went through Centerville and saw the "All trucks next right if lights flashing" I knew that was it.

I wasn't really prepared for what I felt, and how it hit me. After talking to someone who has become a TERRIFIC friend, I think she nailed it. This time, I knew the truth-there was no doubt that he was dead. If you remember, my phone died shortly after I talked to Krystal so it didn't really SINK in. I didn't REALLY believe it until I got home, plugged my phone in and the voice mails and text messages started piling up from everyone trying to get a hold of me. And then I saw the box of "us" sitting on the table. I'd gotten it down out of the closet to get out the bottle of perfume he'd given me for Valentine's day.

It's so strange the details I remember. I have always been very detail oriented, and remember the strangest, seemingly minute details, but it's even worse when it comes to him.

4 comments:

Savannah said...

hey,...i know i dont know you well,...or what exactly youre goin through,....

but this makes my heart hurt,.....
i wish i could give you a big stranger hug

elise.elaine said...

Love and hugs going your way lovely lady. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your loss, for your pain, for not knowing a way to make it feel better for you. But know i wish I could. And know I love ya girl.

The Doctor Princess said...

You are brave....you are wonderful....you are amazing.

materials said...
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