Monday, January 08, 2007


I used to send Nick a text message, "Guess where I am", every time I went through Anahuac, regardless of where we were in our relationship. It was another one of our inside jokes. I think it started because everytime we talked when I was on the way to or from Lake Charles or Oberlin, I was in Anahuac. I've made 6 trips through Anahuac since the day he died, and I cry each and every time I hit the Anahuac City Limit sign. I really miss him when I'm driving home from Lake Charles... I miss him driving TO LC also, but more when I'm on my way home. I guess because I'm sad having just left the family behind and thoughts of him only add to the sadness. I spent Christmas Eve with his mom. It was REALLY hard being in his house, sitting in "our" spot on the couch, being in his room just for that short amount of time. I also realized that day on my way to Oberlin that December 24th would have been 3 years since we met. The next milestone to get through is going to be Saturday, that will be 3 years since the very first time he called me. January 17th would be 3 years since our very first date, and the 18th would be 3 years since our first kiss.

I never thought I could miss someone so much. And I never thought I could feel this empty.

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