Friday, June 16, 2006

Today is officially...

Hug a menopausal woman day.

I had my first really bad bout with night sweats last night. Woke me up at 2:00 am, didn't get back to sleep until sometime around 5:30 am, only to have to get up at 7:00 am for work. It was disgusting. I had to take a shower and then I couldn't get back to sleep so I read for a while. I am also increasingly emotional. I am pretty much always hyper-sensitive, but this is ridiculous.

A couple of things people can do to help me out:
1. If I say I can't do something, whether it's because I can't afford it or if I am not feeling well, please don't tell me I suck, and please don't be angry with me. This is hard enough. And trust me, I would much rather be out having fun with people who make me laugh and smile, than sitting at home twiddling my thumbs with nothing to do.
2. If I am upset at the prospect of not having children, please don't let the first words out of your mouth be "You can always adopt". I know this is an option, but very few people understand just how desperately I want to conceive a child with a man I love, and experience pregnancy and childbirth. I know it's hard for people to understand, and I honestly don't expect anyone to understand if they haven't been through any of this themselves.

Well, I really thought there were more than two situations I wanted to address...but I've lost my train of thought which also happens fairly often these days. This is not meant for just one or two people. It's meant for just about everyone I know, including people who will probably never read it. I wish I could just tell people what I think when they've upset me or hurt my feelings but I can't. I have not ever been able to do that until it gets to the point where I am going to explode and just write off the friendship completely. I realize that I should not let it get so bad, but bottling things up is just what I do.

So, I guess I should include an update of sorts.

Nick: He did, in fact, come to see me over Memorial Day weekend. We had a good time. If nothing else, I got a ceiling fan and a programmable thermostat out of the visit. If you don't have a programmable thermostat, you should really get one. They are the neatest things ever and I have already seen a pretty big savings on my electric bill. He won't be able to come back here for at least a month because he is working 6-12s...

Lupron: I am a little more than 2 months into the treatment and I am scheduled to get my second of the two three month injections on July 3rd. Did that make sense?... Probably not. The side effects I am finding most difficult to deal with are the weight gain/swelling, lethargy, insomnia, bone/joint pain (esp. in my hands, shins, ankles and feet), hot flashes/night sweats, tachycardia(rapid heart beat), dizziness and mood swings/bouts of anger. I know that all of these should subside sometime around the end of October, so I am just looking forward to that and trying not to get too down in the meantime.

Here are some links to pictures from the last couple of weekends:
6/9-10 My cousin's wedding/Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary in Lake Charles
6/2-4 Ryan Turner and the weekend of sailing
5/28-29 Nick and Bear

Well, that's it I guess. Not very exciting. Sorry....


Heather said...

I love you. Hang in there, you are stronger than you know!

Steph said...

keep your beautiful chin up!

Love you~always~