Would I be missed?

I mean, if something were to happen to me? Would the people I call my friends miss me?

I tend to think they wouldn't. I have pretty much had the same group of friends since junior high/high school. I've let very few people really get to know me, know my weaknesses and my strengths. For some reason I keep them locked away until I feel the time might be right, or feel that they might be ready. And you know, the few people I have let in over the last 10 years have, at some point, done something to make me regret that decision.
Back to my original thought... the group of friends I refer to have all seemed to outgrow me, or maybe in some ways I have outgrown them. These are just some of the people who know the real me, who have known me for the better part of the last 16 years, and who accept me for who I am, shortcomings and all.

Denise-my "best friend" since November of the 7th grade. The savior of my first day at Clear Lake Intermediate. My math teacher asked Denise to show me around during lunch, thank goodness. The 7th grade was not an easy year for me. I ended the 6th grade at one school,not knowing that I wouldn't be back. That summer was horrible. I started the 7th grade at a school near my father's house, since I was living with him at that time. This school was a nightmare, I did not make any friends and basically hated life. Then my sister and I went to live with my mother again, and moved to Clear Lake. Denise has exactly the life she always wanted. She is married to her high school sweetheart, they have 2 boys, and she is a kindergarten teacher. Exactly what she always wanted, and exactly how she saw her life. While I am SO happy for her, I can't help but feel like I've been left behind. We used to talk at least a couple of times a week, now we might talk every other month. I don't like it at all, but I know how busy she is.

Kim-I am pretty sure I met her that first day as well. Kim has always been an awesome friend. She is someone I can cry with, drink with, party with, and do movie marathons with. Our relationship is the most versatile of all. She's married, too, no kids yet. Her husband is hilarious, and I love spending time with them. The problem is that they have the most active social life of any married couple I know, so time with Kim is pretty limited and hard to come by.

Amy-Another day one friend. She was in my english class, the first class I went to that day. I think it was 2nd or 3rd period. She was very nice that day, but admitted a couple of years later that she thought I would be a total bitch and a total snob. And with what I wore that day? I don't blame her one bit. Amy is married and just started teaching 2nd grade this past January. She went through an accelerated certification program and got a job in La Marque, a pretty impoverished area South of Clear Lake. She is crazy. Not as crazy as she used to be, but still pretty crazy. If we go out and there happens to be a karaoke machine around, Amy is the first one up there. Stone cold sober. The girl can't really carry a tune to save her life, but seeing her have that much fun is awesome.

Angie-She was in the same english class as Amy and me. She's married with one daughter. We were VERY close our junior and senior year of high school, probably because we were dating guys who were best friends. I have great memories of Angie and me during those months. I doubt she realizes how much I cherished those times. We helped each other through some pretty tough times, including breaking up with said best friends, and the suicide of a pretty close friend.

Rachel-Yet another day oner. And probably the most volatile friendship I have ever had. I'm not sure why that friendship has always been so difficult to maintain. She's married with one daughter and another kid on the way.

Josh-Yep. The one guy in our group. I didn't meet Josh until 9th grade because he went to a different junior high school. Funny guy, always up for a good time, but pretty unsettled. He's a nurse and decided last year that he wanted to be a contract nurse and travel to different places in the state. He only made it to one place, California, and stayed there for 2 contract periods. Last I heard he was doing missionary work with his Catholic church again. I found some interesting news about Josh this past December. He's gay. Not really a big surprise, we always had our suspicions, but he "came out" to Kim a year and a half ago. I haven't seen hime since I found out, but I would like to think I wouldn't act any differently towards him... I hope I don't.

Tanya-We met in 9th grade and she and Josh have been best friends for like ever. They lived down the street from one another until Josh left for A&M in 1994. She's married to Roger, a guy I had a SEVERE crush on in the 8th grade. They have 3 beautiful children, 2 girls, 1 boy. They live in Rifle, CO. They are another really fun couple. Always up for whatever includes drinking a few Coronas!

Layla-I guess we met during 7th grade, but didn't actually really become friends until 1999, when I finally transferred to UHCL and she was in the same program I was in. Layla has been married the longest of anyone my age... I think she and John had their 10th anniversary on December 31st. Get this, they have 6 kids. She just had number 6 a couple of weeks ago. If I am ever fortunate enough to have children of my own, I will go to Layla and John for parenting lessons. They are the best parents I have ever seen in my entire life. I sit and watch the way they work together and it literally brings tears to my eyes.

Kirsten-I think she moved to Clear Lake in the 8th grade, and on her first day I swooped her up and she was part of our group from day one. Kirsten and I have had such similar lives that it's almost scary. Similar I guess until she got married and had Riley (the beautiful baby in the pictures below). She's pregnant again and I couldn't be more happy for her and her husband, Todd. They live in Lima, Peru. They are a wonderful couple, and are probably the smartest people I have ever met. I mean, they are so smart that it is scary!

Wow, I'm not sure if that's everyone, but this is probably more than anyone will ever actually read. That's okay though, I wrote it more to get some perspective than for anyone to really read/comment on.

So, would I be missed? I do still wonder...