Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Music. It cures what ails you.

Or is that ales you? Maybe I have beer on the brain.
But seriously.
I have always loved music, and music of ALL kinds. Just look at my CD collection. You'll find some country, some rap, some pop, some sappy cry in your beer stuff, some Christian, some oldies, some stuff that really doesn't fit into any of the aforementioned genres, and some (not nearly enough) Texas music. My collection has been called eclectic by some, ridiculous by others, but that's me. And there are so many that I should get rid of, but it won't happen. CDs are just something I can't part with. I've still got cassettes, I can't listen to them as I don't have a tape player, but if I did, I would probably pop one in every now and then. You know, we could all use a little Tiffany every now and then. Yeah, that's right, I still have a Tiffany tape, and some GoGos, too.
Anyways, the real purpose of this entry was to thank those of you who have introduced me to some music that I may not have ever been introduced to. I mean, I've been listening to Pat, Cory, Roger, REK, and some of the "older" Texas musicians for a few years, but Galley has opened my eyes to a whole other dimension of music, and for that, I am forever grateful. I wrote in a Christmas card to someone something along the lines of, "Thanks for Galleywinter. It's saved my life." And I mean that, from the very tips of my tiny toes to the wery top of my not so tiny head (Yeah, I know you thought I was going to say not so tiny something else's. Get it outta the gutter ;-)). This time a year ago, my life consisted of going to work, and going home. Weekends were spent in bed in agonizing pain, with no insurance to find out what the problem was, or prescription drug coverage for things such as Rx strength Ibuprofin, or my newfound love, Vicoprofin. Yes, I know I sound like some drug head, but when you are in constant pain, day in and day out, you do what you have to do to function. I keep getting sidetracked, so stay with me...this could be a long bumpy road. So, I finally got insurance last February, went to a Dr who had NO interest in diagnosing me, just wanted to put a band-aid on the problem for a while. That didn't work. Next Dr. By that point I had gotten smart and started keeping a pain journal (www.endofacts.com) and handed it to him (first male "that kind of" Dr I had ever been to) when he walked into the office for the consultation and proceeded to bawl my eyes out while he read it (his reaction makes me tear up to this day). He handed me a box of tissues, put his hand on my leg and said, "I am so sorry you have been going through this. It looks like you've got a textbook case of endometriosis, I don't think I need to examine you, but I will just to be certain and then we will schedule you for a laparoscopy for next week". And he did. I had surgery, pelviscopy with laser of endo to be technical, on April 15, 2005. Before the surgery he was expecting Stage 1 endo, he found stage 3. It was completely covering my left ovary, and was all over the anterior, posterior and left lateral edge of my uterus. The surgery was a little more involved than he was expecting. I had 6 weeks of post-operative,let's call them "issues", which was to be expected. Then I had 2 whole PAIN FREE weeks. That was amazing. I had had some sort of pain on a daily basis for the past 2 and a half years, with a host of other issues that endometriosis brings about. Exactly 2 weeks after my first pain free day I thought the pain in the area of my right ovary was just ovulation (they call it Middleschmertz, mid-cycle pain, which ironically enough is what I had been diagnosed with when I was 18, turns out that pain was actually caused by the endo) so I let it ride for 2 days until I couldn't stand it anymore. I called the office and the nurse got me in the next morning. The exam revealed some not so great news. There was a 99% chance that I had an endometrial adhesion forming on my right ovary which was totally clear just 8 weeks prior to that exam during surgery. See, the tricky thing about endo is that they can go in and do surgery and remove everything they can see, but there can still be adhesions/lesions just under the surface that they can't see, and then they suddenly break through and start causing problems.
Wow, this is way more than I planned on writing about the details, but it's really helpful for me to talk about it, people don't like to hear it, but it's a huge part of my life now. So just deal.
At this point I am basically back to where I was a year ago, except now I know which foods trigger the inflammatory response so I try to stay away from them as much as possible, and when I don't, Dr. Korman has given me some great drugs to help me through it!
The difference between this year, and last year, is that I WON'T let it rule my life, and now I have something and SOME PEOPLE who make me want to leave my cave and enjoy music that has CHANGED MY LIFE. And some of the people I speak of, they have changed my life as well. I used to be very judgmental. I would think things of people just because of the way they acted or because of things that I heard about them. I don't do that anymore, at least I try my very hardest not to. I try to give everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt. And I have been surprised. Boy, have I been surprised. My life has been changed more in the last 9 months than I ever dreamed possible, and that is truly amazing.
So thank you. Thank you especially to all those crazy chicks who have crazy little sayings, but who make me smile from ear to ear everytime they say one of them.
You will never know....you saved my life.
And I love you.
And I mean it.
I really mean it.

Disclaimer-sorry about the typos, I'll proof it when I'm not blind.


Heather said...

I just got the chance to read this.... and I LOVE YOU MEAN IT!!

Here's to an awesome 2006 full of friends and good times! :)

elise.elaine said...

I hope we can ring in the new year together girl haven't seen you in WAY too long!!

Lainey said...

You have been an AMAZING part of my year too baby girl!! You are fabulous, generous, lovely, wonderful, and I love you to the moon and back!

TXSongBird said...

Dammit how could I not have seen this earlier? Got all distracted being away during the holidays. I dont know if im one of hte ones that you are talking about in this post, but you have been such a great friend to me over the past few months. I seriously love you! Im honestly not sure how I could have gotten along the last few months without you. Ok enough of the sappiness, you gonna lick my boots again this weekend???