Or, maybe not.

I had ANOTHER Dr. appointment this morning... I wanted his opinion on the research study I'd heard about. Well, I got it. He's against me doing it because the control medication is Depo Provera. Depo has a host of side effects that I knew about, but I thought it might be worth the risk. Dr. Korman disagrees. Strongly. He wants me back on the pill, but we are trying a low dose pill (20 mcg) to give my body a break from the high dose (50 mcg) I've been on since October. Hopefully this means I'll lose some of the weight I've put on since my first surgery, and that my depression will lessen. When he originally mentioned me going on OC's two years ago, I said absolutely not. The last time I was on the pill I was ridiculously depressed, and suicidal around "that time of the month". I was hesitant to go back on it, but when he started talking about my ability to conceive, my mind was changed.
So, another doozie from my appointment today: He would like to see me pregnant within the next two months. I'm not kidding. My mom was there with me when he said it. My jaw just about hit the ground and I came back with, "You got me a husband?". I mean REALLY. I have NOTHING against being a single mother, but it's what everyone else thinks (my family included) that would keep me from doing it.
So. Back to square one, I guess.

Stupid MySpace

I was coming over here to blog about something, got to looking around and found something that was like a punch in the gut.

The girl Nick was seeing is pregnant. Not with his child, of course. I'm not sure why it's bothering me so much.

I was coming over to blog about a pretty big decision I've made, I think. I was on my way back to the office from a Dr. appointment Monday morning and was listening to the radio (which I NEVER do) and started hearing this advertisement about Endometriosis. My ears perked up, of course. It was about a research study for an investigational research medication. I got here and looked up the website (www.petalstudy.com, if you're interested), filled out the questionnaire and got a call Wednesday to set up an appointment. I have to be off of OC's for one month before going in for my first appointment. So, I've got an appointment for September 13th. I sent a fax to my GYN yesterday to get his opinion on the study, but I haven't heard back from his office yet. Well, it's too late to start my OC for this month, and I had been thinking about going off of it anyway so it looks like I won't be taking it for a while. I hope that doesn't turn out to be the wrong decision and that I'm not in unbearable pain in the next few months. I guess I am going to participate in the study even if I don't hear from my GYN. I mean, what do I really have to lose?