This one won't make you want to slit your wrists.

At least I don't think it will...

1. FIRST NAME: Nicole

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY & WHY?? Wednesday. I cry for no very good reason these days ...

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?? Ugh. No way

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?? Turkey

6. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?? 2 of the canine variety

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? some days

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yep

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? what's a lot?

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No, thank GOD

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? doubtful

12. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Sometimes

13. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically-yes, emotionally-not so much

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Coffee

16. SHOE SIZE? 6-1/2-7

17. RED OR PINK?? Blue

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? not being able to let go of the past

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Nick, duh.

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Nah

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans, striped flip flops

22. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?? a golden oreo, yes, just one. YAY me.

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Revolution FM

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?? blue or silver. in a perfect world, blue AND silver swirled

25. FAVORITE SMELL? vanilla

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED WITH ON THE PHONE?? some idiot I work with

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU MEET? smile

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? LOVE her guts

29. FAVORITE DRINK? coffee anything

30. FAVORITE SPORT? baseball

31. HAIR COLOR? shit brown

32. EYE COLOR?? see above

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope

34. FAVORITE FOOD? spinach

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Happy Endings

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Devil Wears Prada

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? a t-shirt

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Spring

39. HUGS OR KISSES? Both

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Anything apple

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND THE QUICKEST? please see above

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? please see above

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? None right now

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?? polka dots

45. FAVORITE SOUNDS?? most music

46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

47. FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?? Hawaii?

49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? training dogs

50. WHEN & WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 12/7/1975-Houston, TX

Let Go

Let Go
Allison Moorer

Sometimes in the mornings I wake up devastated that you're gone
It drives me kinda crazy and I tell myself it's been a little long
To still be expecting you to call me up on the phone
I don't like holding on but I can't let go
Sometimes a photograph of you will take my breath away
I don't think that time's a healer no matter what folks say
How can years fly by so fast and breaks in a heart mend so slow
I don't like holding on but I can't let go
Sometimes I'm in a room full of people when old lonely sits by me
And it makes me sad to realize that unlike you he wont ever leave
I wish I had some kind of pill to take this feeling from my bones
I don't like holding on but I can't let go

Anahuac

I used to send Nick a text message, "Guess where I am", every time I went through Anahuac, regardless of where we were in our relationship. It was another one of our inside jokes. I think it started because everytime we talked when I was on the way to or from Lake Charles or Oberlin, I was in Anahuac. I've made 6 trips through Anahuac since the day he died, and I cry each and every time I hit the Anahuac City Limit sign. I really miss him when I'm driving home from Lake Charles... I miss him driving TO LC also, but more when I'm on my way home. I guess because I'm sad having just left the family behind and thoughts of him only add to the sadness. I spent Christmas Eve with his mom. It was REALLY hard being in his house, sitting in "our" spot on the couch, being in his room just for that short amount of time. I also realized that day on my way to Oberlin that December 24th would have been 3 years since we met. The next milestone to get through is going to be Saturday, that will be 3 years since the very first time he called me. January 17th would be 3 years since our very first date, and the 18th would be 3 years since our first kiss.

I never thought I could miss someone so much. And I never thought I could feel this empty.